You've just been sucked into a black hole called Schadenfreude

You have just been sucked into the massive black hole that is Heaven Nose's malicious joy.

The only way to totally humiliate Trainwrecks was to become Trainwrecks. We must say you surprised us. Since all of you claimed over and over again that our writing sucked we thought you'd surely be on to us right away.

But strangely enough, all you trainwreckers suddenly seemed to love our writing enough to keep coming back. Our good friend Supersnark even congratulated us and was proud to "be the first to comment on the new site". Thanks for the link, SS!

It was delightful to see that sparkle of hope in your puppy eyes, only to piss on it and see that little flame fade away. Fizzle, fizzle, die.

Lestat aka The Schnoz and Goldilocks

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"Fool you once, shame on me, fool you twice: you're pathetic."

Friday Open Thread

I'm hoping some of our more delicate readers will start coming up with some enthralling new topics. How about a young, infertile femme fatale that claims she has her cunthooks in a Texas senator? A tri-state Guido who used to beat up gays that comes out of the closet?

As requested the new, cozy and recognizable template will be up soon to ensure that the old community will be as comfy as a boner in sweat pants. I will also be adding links in sidebars.

I'm also asking for people who are willing to administrate.

I have to stress the following fact though: this site is primarily for trainwreckers to regroup. Not necessarily to be a substitute for TW or to be the new site for trainwreckers all together. Some of you don't like the blogger format, so it's time we have a sit-down and discuss what exactly we're gonna do.

Did I say cunthooks and sit-down? Oh my. Deeply sorry for that, I am.

What would Mr. Pickles have said ...

For ol' time's sake.

"Early yesterday morning, as I was scurrying out the door to take M_ to
preschool, I caught sight of something in our front garden that took me just a
wee bit by surprise: a huge, brown bear. "

Actually the comment underneath the bear picture is even more cheesy. Did I say cheesy? Of course I meant classic.

I'm not really sure what is more threatening to me. The bear, the kid with the weird harcut, Gumball the kitten or the fact that she thinks the world is populated with ten year olds and retards and writes accordingly.

I'm beyond having words to describe our friend Sweetney. I just wish Mr. Pickles was here to do that for me.

And you shall know him by the 666 mark

Seems we've got a little Damien on our hands.

"On Saturday, my gentle-natured, precious, kind toddler was overcome by
another presence. I would call him Evil Ethan, but it seems a little mean to
refer to a baby as evil.

Ethan was stacking a couple of his wooden blocks together while Grover
obverved his progress, occasionally nibbling on one of his chew toys. Ethan
reached out and patted the little dog gently. Then, using one of the very hard
wooden blocks he was holding, he hit Grover in the head. The poor dog yelped in
pain and jumped backwards, cowering in fear.

I had hoped the hitting incident was a one time thing, but Ethan has tried
again to hit the dogs and has also smacked Mike and me. You would think a punch
from a little toddler wouldn't really hurt, but unfortunately Ethan can pack
quite a wollop. "

What's next? The nanny attacked by crows? Insane screaming when nearing church? Brrrr.

You Have The Right To Remain Ridiculed

Call it a tribute. Call it a temporary (and obviously inferior than the original) refugee camp. What the heck, just call it having some plain ol' fun.

Anybody up for a trainwreck?

I am.

Turns out being turned off by your significant other's skin color has no bearing on the sweet luvin'.

"I spent most of last night having a tearful discussion with FH about what I
consider his lack of physical attraction to me. I can't talk to him anymore
right now so I'm here. I'm black and he is not. I don't think he finds me
attractive and that it is in large part due to my being black. I wrote him this
letter a few days ago and when we discussed it he alternately denied everything
and conceded that he doesn't find me viscerally attractive but still loves me.
Though it hurts, I acknowledge I'm not pretty. I'm used to men telling me that I
need to lose weight or fix my teeth or change my hairstyle but what he doesn't
like isn't anything I can change. He isn't mean about this but his lack of
attraction shows and I resent it."

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For someone with a self esteem of this bottomless calibre, it is quite hilarious that she thinks she lives in a Fairy Tale World.
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"I think he does accept me but I am having difficulty acceptingthat I am
less-than-ideal in his eyes."

That's quite painful, princess Fiona... Quite painful, indeed.

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Let's start this thing up again. All trainwreckers regroup on this blog. You know you want to.